beauty for ashes

'And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.'

Romans 12:2

You can't win if you're outside the will of God


Several months ago, my parents decided to get divorced. To be honest it was one of the toughest reality checks I got in a very, very long time. I am still processing their divorce and trying to work through some of the emotions I was experiencing.

What a coincidence this all was. Here my husband and I are so deeply passionate about people, relationships and especially the marriage covenant God instituted. Everything about marriage is beautiful to us and here we received the heart-breaking news of my parent’s divorce.

Many of you might wonder why be so honest and open about this issue?

Well, I realized there is nothing that we experience today that weren’t already mentioned in the Bible and was happening right through scripture. Simply how does it benefit or help anyone if we do not talk about these issues? Even the Bible discuss this very issue.

As early as in Exodus we already read about adultery and divorce (Exodus20:14; 21:10) and so forth through the Bible.

This is the reality and it’s as real and raw as it gets and the following might or might not seem shocking to you, but the global divorce rate has increased 251.8% since 1960. An average of 44% of all marriages ends up in divorce as per 2017.These results are an average across the world that they studied.

I couldn’t come to terms why this was even allowed so early on as in Exodus when marriage is clearly not just a covenant between husband and wife, but also with God Himself.

But as we start to read and study the Word of God on this matter, we see that divorce is by no means the will of God.

In Matthew 19:8 we read:

'He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. '

Throughout the Bible I found my comfort to understand this very sensitive matter.

Of course, I can understand that in certain marriage cases divorce should be permitted for many reasons, for example, such as an abusive relationship, where the one spouse is abusive towards another spouse and towards children. We often see and hear of cases like these and it can result in a life-threatening situation even unto death.

But by no means do I think that divorce should be just a simple exit door. Marriage is real hard work, but it is definitely worth working and fighting for.

Ravi Zacharias said the following:

Love is a commitment that will be tested in the most vulnerable areas of spirituality, a commitment that will force you to make some very difficult choices. It is a commitment that demands that you deal with your lust, your greed, your pride, your power, your desire to control, your temper, your patience, and every area of temptation that the Bible clearly talks about. It demands the quality of commitment that Jesus demonstrates in His relationship to us.

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without emotion, it is a drudgery.

Marriage is fun when we are standing on the mountain tops, but real growth and intimacy happens down in the valley…

When we face difficult times in our relationships, marriages or even during a divorce we can only first take it all to God in prayer. Prayer is the most powerful weapon we can use in any circumstances. Prayer is more powerful than any level of education, wealth or status. Give your entire attention to what God is doing in your life right now, and don’t get anxious, discouraged or worked up about what may or may not happen today or tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever difficult times you are facing. Sometimes the difficulties in our life are actually opportunities, they’re a moment where God can break through and can show you that He is faithful till the very end.

Abba Father says:

'For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord , ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. '

- JEREMIAH 29:11

I also want you to know that Biblical love is not emotions or feelings, but about our attitudes and our actions towards the other person. It’s seeking the best interest of the other person, regardless of how we feel towards him or her.

How would we ever learn unconditional love if you were married to someone that met all the conditions?

Preparation for marriage and love for your husband or wife starts right now. In your heart and with your eyes fixed on God (dove’s eyes).

Take time to reflect on your healing and start moving towards wholeness in Christ. I truly believe without turning your whole life over to Jesus, you will never be able to truly fully heal. Learn to trust God and ask for His guidance and understanding trough this whole process. Don’t miss out on the greatest possible life that God has for you, by still carrying around some of the hurt, unforgiveness, bitterness your heart.

You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy.

Of the many people I have met, the only ones that truly fully healed were those that have surrendered their lives whole heartily to Jesus Christ.

Until you have experienced the love, grace, and mercy that God gives during this healing season, you will never experience a life that is full of hope, completeness, and thankfulness. It is a cleansing like no other. It’s like seeing a beautiful sunrise at the ocean for the very first time – Brent D. Papineau

Take 1 Corinthians 13. It actually represents Jesus and His beautiful character, and it gives us an example of how we ought to be in character.

For example, Love suffers long and is kind, it really actually says:

Jesus is long suffering and kind because if you think about it, God is love.

God will use your spouse for your good and His Glory, to shape your character to become more like Christ. The whole pattern and meaning of marriage on earth is preparation for us to become a bride for Christ.

Pray this over yourself and your spouse and ask Abba Father to help you and your spouse to be truly blessed with the characteristics of 1 Corinthians 13 and to always choose love (Jesus) above anything else:

Love (Jesus) suffers long and is kind;

Love (Jesus) does not envy;

Love (Jesus) does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own,

is not provoked,

thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but

rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.'

Love never fails.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

God’s love truly never fails!


- I, Isaac, take thee, Rebekah – Ravi Zacharias (book)

- Warfare for your Marriage – Richard Ing (book)

- God has perfectly orchestrated your mate:

And now abide faith, hope, love, but

the greatest of these is love,